A Monday survival guide part 1..

Mondays… Arggg.. That alarm goes off (I did not throw it out the window… It flew itself) snoozing for 5 minutes 3 times equates to 15 minutes still in bed(i know maths). 

Its now half 6.. I start work at 7, the kids are still asleep the battle to begin the day begins…

My kids on a day off school are up before the cockrel crows. In fact I’m pretty sure the crack of dawn is cracked because my son got up an broke it….however..on a school day my kids seem to enter a magic hibernation they can’t awake from.. I’ve 15 mins left,so….

tip one smash the lights on.. No fear full power spirit bomb light bulb (its evil but by god it works) 

There awake” shoes coat on we need to get dad to work”the grunted zombie groans as they shake, snarl and crawl downstairs. looking much like they fit well in any resident evil game(not the films… ) 

Tip 2 Get there coats an shoes laid out zombies can’t find anything except there food(there’s a brief cure!!, though I’m told by serah it doesn’t last.. Well get too that) .. The groans an moans of not finding said apparel will cost you time an headache.. So just lay it out… 10 mins left

Tip 3

Toast!! Is a life saver(my beloved skinny sister despises bread like a vampire with garlic so ignore this bit sis) you pop it in takes 2 minutes..plenty of time to put work boots on an coat.. The inevitable pop of the toaster goes, the butter is spread time to be brave like Jill valentine turning a corner.. 7 mins left.

Tip

Chuck the toast at the foaming groaning creatures before you.. And marvel at the brief reappearance (apparently according to mum this doesn’t last a follow up will come*see part 2)of my beloved son an daughter.

Smiling colour returning to there face, teeth no longer snarling. “do you have to go to work daddy” there’s my beauties..”coats on guys iv got to get too work”.. To which they comply.. 4 mins left.. Tip 5

The car.. In the British winter a car is rubbish it can’t heat itself the sun (which rarely appears in England anyway) has properly buggered off on its holidays(again.. Take me with you) it has left you with a popsicle where your car used to be.. Apparently it’s somewhere under said frozen dessert… So the digging commences (the tip being I find a CD case is the best shovel.. I use my reliable H.I.M metal music CD) hurrah Corey corsa is revealed and the journey begins.. -5 mins left…. Bugger

Amazingly I get to work bang on Time like on the dot somehow..(totally wasn’t speeding nope not me) and the daily grind begins!!..part 2 to follow as a new routine takes effect after January and I tackle the zombies/beautiful creatures anew..

3 thoughts on “A Monday survival guide part 1..

Add yours

  1. Get up earlier, thus means set clock!
    Toast is not enough for breakfast!
    Breakfast bars, yogart, fruit and tea to warm the insides..

    Like

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